Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Annapolis?

A: West Point: 187 Miles

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the United States Naval Academy library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Did you hear about the United States Naval Academy fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Did you hear about the Midshipmen fan who was so upset that the Black Knights beat Navy that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q. What did the Navy graduate say to the Army graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: What do you get when you cross a United States Naval Academy fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How do you get a United States Naval Academy grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the United States Naval Academy campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

A Navy Midshipmen fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What does the average United States Naval Academy student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Navy joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Navy grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Navy grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Navy grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: What do Navy and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What's the difference between a Navy fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Navy Midshipmen fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Two United States Naval Academy fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Navy fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Navy fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Navy fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Navy fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Navy, an Army grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Army grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Black Knights!" and pushed the Midshipmen fan off the side of the mountain.

My two favorite teams are Army and whoever plays Navy!

One foggy night, an Army fan and a Navy fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near West Point. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Navy fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Black Knight fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Navy fan walks over to the Black Knight fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Black Knight fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Black Knight fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Midshipmen fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Midshipmen fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Midshipmen fan hands it back to the Black Knight fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Black Knight fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

One day in an elementary school in Annapolis, MD, a teacher asks her class if the Navy Midshipmen are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Army Black Knights "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Black Knight fan, my mom is a Black Knight fan, I guess that makes me a Black Knight fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Navy fan."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the United States Naval Academy campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in United States Naval Academy's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: How many Navy fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: How many United States Naval Academy freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What should you do if you find three United States Naval Academy fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: Why don't Navy Midshipmen fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at United States Naval Academy weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: How do you make United States Naval Academy cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: Do you know why the United States Naval Academy football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do you call a Navy player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Annapolis News Report: Football practice in Annapolis was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Paul Johnson, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Navy Midshipmen?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Navy win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

It's 03:19 and Navy STILL sucks!

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the United States Naval Academy campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Midshipmen cheerleaders back on board.

It was reported that Navy head football coach Paul Johnson will only be dressing twenty players for the Army game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: Why do United States Naval Academy fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.