It was reported that Toledo head football coach Tom Astutz will only be dressing twenty players for the Bowling Green game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

My two favorite teams are Bowling Green and whoever plays Toledo!

Q: What's the difference between a Toledo fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What do Toledo and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Toledo Rocket fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Toledo joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Toledo grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Toledo grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Toledo grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Toledo win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: What do you call a Toledo player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: How do you make University of Toledo cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: How many Toledo fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Toledo campus?

A: A visitor.

Did you hear about the Rocket fan who was so upset that the Falcons beat Toledo that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Toledo weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: Do you know why the University of Toledo football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Toledo campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Rockets cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Did you hear about the University of Toledo fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Toledo library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Why don't Toledo Rockets fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: What should you do if you find three University of Toledo fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

It's 07:47 and Toledo STILL sucks!

Two University of Toledo fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Toledo fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Toledo fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Toledo fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Toledo fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Toledo?

A: Bowling Green: 187 Miles

Q: Why do University of Toledo fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Toledo's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Toledo News Report: Football practice in Toledo was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Tom Astutz, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: How do you get a University of Toledo grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What does the average University of Toledo student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Toledo Rockets?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q. What did the Toledo graduate say to the Bowling Green graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Toledo campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Toledo, a Bowling Green grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Bowling Green grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Falcons!" and pushed the Rockets fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: How many University of Toledo freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

One foggy night, a Bowling Green fan and a Toledo fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Bowling Green. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Toledo fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Falcon fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Toledo fan walks over to the Falcon fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Falcon fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Falcon fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Rocket fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Rocket fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Rocket fan hands it back to the Falcon fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Falcon fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

A Toledo Rockets fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Toledo fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

One day in an elementary school in Toledo, OH, a teacher asks her class if the Toledo Rockets are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Bowling Green Falcons "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Falcon fan, my mom is a Falcon fan, I guess that makes me a Falcon fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Toledo fan."