Q: What do you call a Western Michigan player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: Do you know why the Western Michigan University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Western Michigan University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Western Michigan University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What's the difference between a Western Michigan fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: How many Western Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

One foggy night, a Central Michigan fan and a Western Michigan fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Mount Pleasant. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Western Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Chippewa fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Western Michigan fan walks over to the Chippewa fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Chippewa fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Chippewa fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bronco fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Bronco fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Bronco fan hands it back to the Chippewa fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Chippewa fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Western Michigan University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Western Michigan Broncos?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Western Michigan University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: What should you do if you find three Western Michigan University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: How many Western Michigan University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

One day in an elementary school in Kalamazoo, MI, a teacher asks her class if the Western Michigan Broncos are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The CMU Chippewas "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Chippewa fan, my mom is a Chippewa fan, I guess that makes me a Chippewa fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Western Michigan fan."

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Western Michigan, a Central Michigan grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Central Michigan grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Chippewas!" and pushed the Broncos fan off the side of the mountain.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Western Michigan joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Western Michigan grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Western Michigan grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Western Michigan grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: How do you get a Western Michigan University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Two Western Michigan University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Western Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Western Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Western Michigan fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Western Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q. What did the Western Michigan graduate say to the Central Michigan graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

A Western Michigan Broncos fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Western Michigan Bronco fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: Why do Western Michigan University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What does the average Western Michigan University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: Why don't Western Michigan Broncos fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Western Michigan win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Kalamazoo News Report: Football practice in Kalamazoo was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Bill Cubit, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Did you hear about the Western Michigan University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Western Michigan University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Broncos cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Western Michigan University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: How do you make Western Michigan University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

My two favorite teams are Central Michigan and whoever plays Western Michigan!

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Western Michigan University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Kalamazoo?

A: Mount Pleasant: 187 Miles

It was reported that Western Michigan head football coach Bill Cubit will only be dressing twenty players for the Central Michigan game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: What do Western Michigan and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Did you hear about the Bronco fan who was so upset that the Chippewas beat Western Michigan that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

It's 12:17 and Western Michigan STILL sucks!