Q: What does the average North Carolina State University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q. What did the NC State graduate say to the ECU graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: How many NC State fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

One day in an elementary school in Raleigh, NC, a teacher asks her class if the NC State Wolfpack are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The ECU Pirates "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Pirates fan, my mom is a Pirates fan, I guess that makes me a Pirates fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a NC State fan."

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a NC State, an ECU grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the ECU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Pirates!" and pushed the Wolfpack fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: What should you do if you find three North Carolina State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

A NC State Wolfpack fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Raleigh News Report: Football practice in Raleigh was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Chuck Amato, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Do you know why the North Carolina State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the North Carolina State University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the North Carolina State University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Did you hear about the Wolfpack fan who was so upset that the Pirates beat NC State that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: Did you hear about the North Carolina State University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: How do you make North Carolina State University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the North Carolina State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

It was reported that NC State head football coach Chuck Amato will only be dressing twenty players for the ECU game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

My two favorite teams are ECU and whoever plays NC State!

One foggy night, an ECU fan and a NC State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Greenville. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The NC State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Pirates fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The NC State fan walks over to the Pirates fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Pirates fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Pirates fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolfpack fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolfpack fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolfpack fan hands it back to the Pirates fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Pirates fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What do you get when you cross a North Carolina State University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How do you get a North Carolina State University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at North Carolina State University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a NC State Wolfpack fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Two North Carolina State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first NC State fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second NC State fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first NC State fan asks, "Why not?"

The second NC State fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Why don't NC State Wolfpack fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the North Carolina State University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Wolfpack cheerleaders back on board.

Q: What do you call a NC State player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: What's the difference between a NC State fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have NC State win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: How many North Carolina State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: Why do North Carolina State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in North Carolina State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good NC State joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a NC State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a NC State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a NC State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the NC State Wolfpack?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Raleigh?

A: Greenville: 187 Miles

Q: What do NC State and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

It's 07:47 and NC State STILL sucks!