Q: What do you get when you cross a Florida Atlantic University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

My two favorite teams are FIU and whoever plays Florida Atlantic!

Q: How many Florida Atlantic University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Two Florida Atlantic University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Florida Atlantic fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Florida Atlantic fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Florida Atlantic fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Florida Atlantic fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: How do you get a Florida Atlantic University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How many Florida Atlantic fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Florida Atlantic win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Florida Atlantic University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What should you do if you find three Florida Atlantic University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: How do you make Florida Atlantic University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

It was reported that Florida Atlantic head football coach Howard Schnellenberger will only be dressing twenty players for the FIU game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Florida Atlantic Owls?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Florida Atlantic joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Florida Atlantic grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Florida Atlantic grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Florida Atlantic grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Did you hear about the Owl fan who was so upset that the Golden Panthers beat Florida Atlantic that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: Why don't Florida Atlantic Owls fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

One foggy night, a FIU fan and a Florida Atlantic fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Miami. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Florida Atlantic fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Golden Panther fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Florida Atlantic fan walks over to the Golden Panther fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Golden Panther fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Golden Panther fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Owl fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Owl fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Owl fan hands it back to the Golden Panther fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Golden Panther fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Florida Atlantic Owl fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Florida Atlantic University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q. What did the Florida Atlantic graduate say to the FIU graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

One day in an elementary school in Boca Raton, FL, a teacher asks her class if the Florida Atlantic Owls are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The FIU Golden Panthers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Golden Panther fan, my mom is a Golden Panther fan, I guess that makes me a Golden Panther fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Florida Atlantic fan."

Q: What do you call a Florida Atlantic player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Florida Atlantic University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Owls cheerleaders back on board.

Q: What's the difference between a Florida Atlantic fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

A Florida Atlantic Owls fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Why do Florida Atlantic University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What does the average Florida Atlantic University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What do Florida Atlantic and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Florida Atlantic University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Boca Raton News Report: Football practice in Boca Raton was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Howard Schnellenberger, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Florida Atlantic University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: Do you know why the Florida Atlantic University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Did you hear about the Florida Atlantic University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Florida Atlantic University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

It's 07:48 and Florida Atlantic STILL sucks!

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Florida Atlantic, a FIU grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the FIU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Golden Panthers!" and pushed the Owls fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Boca Raton?

A: Miami: 187 Miles