Georgia Bulldogs Jokes!, Go Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets!
Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Athens?
A: Atlanta: 187 Miles
Did you hear about the Bulldog fan who was so upset that the Yellow Jackets beat Georgia that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?
One day in an elementary school in Athens, GA, a teacher asks her class if the Georgia Bulldogs are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Yellow Jacket fan, my mom is a Yellow Jacket fan, I guess that makes me a Yellow Jacket fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Georgia fan."
Q. What did the Georgia graduate say to the Georgia Tech graduate?
A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Georgia Bulldog fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Georgia joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Georgia grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Georgia grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Georgia grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
One foggy night, a Georgia Tech fan and a Georgia fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Atlanta. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Georgia fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Yellow Jacket fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Georgia fan walks over to the Yellow Jacket fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Yellow Jacket fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Yellow Jacket fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bulldog fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Bulldog fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Bulldog fan hands it back to the Yellow Jacket fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Yellow Jacket fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Q: What's the difference between a Georgia fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: How many Georgia fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Athens News Report: Football practice in Athens was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Mark Richt, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Q: How do you make University of Georgia cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Georgia Bulldogs?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
It's
08:01 and Georgia STILL sucks!
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Georgia, a Georgia Tech grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"
Seeing this, the Georgia Tech grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Yellow Jackets!" and pushed the Bulldogs fan off the side of the mountain.
Q: What should you do if you find three University of Georgia fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Georgia campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: What do you call a Georgia player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q: How many University of Georgia freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Georgia library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Georgia weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
It was reported that Georgia head football coach Mark Richt will only be dressing twenty players for the Georgia Tech game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.
A Georgia Bulldogs fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Georgia campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: How do you get a University of Georgia grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Why do University of Georgia fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Georgia fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Georgia's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Two University of Georgia fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.
The first Georgia fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Georgia fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first Georgia fan asks, "Why not?"
The second Georgia fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Georgia campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Bulldogs cheerleaders back on board.
Q: Did you hear about the University of Georgia fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
Q: Why don't Georgia Bulldogs fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
Q: What do Georgia and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: What does the average University of Georgia student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
My two favorite teams are Georgia Tech and whoever plays Georgia!
Q: Do you know why the University of Georgia football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.
The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."
The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."
The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."
"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Georgia win a bowl game this year?"
The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."