Did you hear about the Boilermaker fan who was so upset that the Hoosiers beat Purdue that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: What do you get when you cross a Purdue University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: What do you call a Purdue player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: How many Purdue University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Purdue Boilermaker fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q. What did the Purdue graduate say to the Indiana graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

West Lafayette News Report: Football practice in West Lafayette was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Joe Tiller, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Purdue win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

It was reported that Purdue head football coach Joe Tiller will only be dressing twenty players for the Indiana game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Purdue University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Purdue University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why do Purdue University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Purdue University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Purdue University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Boilermakers cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Purdue University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

One day in an elementary school in West Lafayette, IN, a teacher asks her class if the Purdue Boilermakers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Indiana Hoosiers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Hoosier fan, my mom is a Hoosier fan, I guess that makes me a Hoosier fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Purdue fan."

It's 12:16 and Purdue STILL sucks!

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Purdue Boilermakers?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What do Purdue and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Purdue University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: How many Purdue fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

My two favorite teams are Indiana and whoever plays Purdue!

Q: How do you get a Purdue University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why don't Purdue Boilermakers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in West Lafayette?

A: Bloomington: 187 Miles

Two Purdue University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Purdue fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Purdue fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Purdue fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Purdue fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

One foggy night, an Indiana fan and a Purdue fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Bloomington. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Purdue fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Hoosier fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Purdue fan walks over to the Hoosier fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Hoosier fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Hoosier fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Boilermaker fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Boilermaker fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Boilermaker fan hands it back to the Hoosier fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Hoosier fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Purdue joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Purdue grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Purdue grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Purdue grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: What does the average Purdue University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: How do you make Purdue University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: Did you hear about the Purdue University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: What should you do if you find three Purdue University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

A Purdue Boilermakers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Do you know why the Purdue University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What's the difference between a Purdue fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Purdue, an Indiana grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Indiana grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Hoosiers!" and pushed the Boilermakers fan off the side of the mountain.