Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Iowa State University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Iowa State win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: Why do Iowa State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a Iowa State player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: What do Iowa State and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ames?

A: Iowa City: 187 Miles

Q: How do you get an Iowa State University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How do you make Iowa State University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an Iowa State Cyclone fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

It's 06:26 and Iowa State STILL sucks!

One day in an elementary school in Ames, IA, a teacher asks her class if the Iowa State Cyclones are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Iowa Hawkeyes "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Hawkeye fan, my mom is a Hawkeye fan, I guess that makes me a Hawkeye fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Iowa State fan."

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Iowa State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Iowa State Cyclones?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Iowa State joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Iowa State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Iowa State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Iowa State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: How many Iowa State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Iowa State, an Iowa grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Iowa grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Hawkeyes!" and pushed the Cyclones fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: Do you know why the Iowa State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Iowa State University campus?

A: A visitor.

Ames News Report: Football practice in Ames was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Dan McCarney, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Why don't Iowa State Cyclones fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: How many Iowa State fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

It was reported that Iowa State head football coach Dan McCarney will only be dressing twenty players for the Iowa game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

One foggy night, an Iowa fan and an Iowa State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Iowa City. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Iowa State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Hawkeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Iowa State fan walks over to the Hawkeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Hawkeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Hawkeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Cyclone fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Cyclone fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Cyclone fan hands it back to the Hawkeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Hawkeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What do you get when you cross an Iowa State University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Did you hear about the Cyclone fan who was so upset that the Hawkeyes beat Iowa State that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

An Iowa State Cyclones fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What's the difference between an Iowa State fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

My two favorite teams are Iowa and whoever plays Iowa State!

Q: What does the average Iowa State University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q. What did the Iowa State graduate say to the Iowa graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Iowa State University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Cyclones cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Iowa State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What should you do if you find three Iowa State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Iowa State University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Two Iowa State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Iowa State fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Iowa State fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Iowa State fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Iowa State fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Did you hear about the Iowa State University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.