Kansas State Wildcats Jokes!, Go Kansas Jayhawks!
Q: Do you know why the Kansas State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What's the difference between a Kansas State fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: How do you make Kansas State University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Kansas State University fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: What do you call a Kansas State player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q. What did the Kansas State graduate say to the Kansas graduate?
A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"
It was reported that Kansas State head football coach Bill Snyder will only be dressing twenty players for the Kansas game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.
Q: How many Kansas State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Kansas State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Kansas State University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: How do you get a Kansas State University grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
One day in an elementary school in Manhattan, KS, a teacher asks her class if the Kansas State Wildcats are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Kansas Jayhawks "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Jayhawk fan, my mom is a Jayhawk fan, I guess that makes me a Jayhawk fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Kansas State fan."
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Kansas State University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Wildcats cheerleaders back on board.
Q: Why don't Kansas State Wildcats fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Kansas State University campus?
A: A visitor.
Manhattan News Report: Football practice in Manhattan was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Bill Snyder, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Manhattan?
A: Lawrence: 187 Miles
Q: Why do Kansas State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do Kansas State and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
Q: What does the average Kansas State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: Did you hear about the Kansas State University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.
The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."
The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."
The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."
"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Kansas State win a bowl game this year?"
The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."
My two favorite teams are Kansas and whoever plays Kansas State!
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Kansas State joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Kansas State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Kansas State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Kansas State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Kansas State Wildcat fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
Did you hear about the Wildcat fan who was so upset that the Jayhawks beat Kansas State that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?
Two Kansas State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.
The first Kansas State fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The second Kansas State fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."
The first Kansas State fan asks, "Why not?"
The second Kansas State fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Kansas State, a Kansas grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"
Seeing this, the Kansas grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Jayhawks!" and pushed the Wildcats fan off the side of the mountain.
Q: What should you do if you find three Kansas State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
One foggy night, a Kansas fan and a Kansas State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Lawrence. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Kansas State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Jayhawk fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Kansas State fan walks over to the Jayhawk fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Jayhawk fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Jayhawk fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wildcat fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wildcat fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wildcat fan hands it back to the Jayhawk fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Jayhawk fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
A Kansas State Wildcats fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
It's
07:57 and Kansas State STILL sucks!
Q: How many Kansas State fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in Kansas State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Kansas State Wildcats?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Kansas State University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.