Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Arkansas Razorbacks?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: Why do University of Arkansas fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

It's 07:48 and Arkansas STILL sucks!

Q: How many Arkansas fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Arkansas campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Razorbacks cheerleaders back on board.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Fayetteville?

A: Baton Rouge: 187 Miles

Two University of Arkansas fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Arkansas fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Arkansas fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Arkansas fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Arkansas fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Do you know why the University of Arkansas football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Arkansas win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: How do you make University of Arkansas cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Arkansas' football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Did you hear about the Razorback fan who was so upset that the Tigers beat Arkansas that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an Arkansas Razorback fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Arkansas weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Arkansas joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Arkansas grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Arkansas grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Arkansas grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

My two favorite teams are LSU and whoever plays Arkansas!

Q: What should you do if you find three University of Arkansas fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

An Arkansas Razorbacks fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What does the average University of Arkansas student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Arkansas, an LSU grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the LSU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Tigers!" and pushed the Razorbacks fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: What do you get when you cross an University of Arkansas fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How do you get an University of Arkansas grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Arkansas campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What do Arkansas and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q. What did the Arkansas graduate say to the LSU graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: How many University of Arkansas freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: Did you hear about the University of Arkansas fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: What's the difference between an Arkansas fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Fayetteville News Report: Football practice in Fayetteville was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Houston Nutt, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Arkansas library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Arkansas campus?

A: A visitor.

One foggy night, an LSU fan and an Arkansas fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Baton Rouge. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Arkansas fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Tiger fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Arkansas fan walks over to the Tiger fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Tiger fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Tiger fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Razorback fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Razorback fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Razorback fan hands it back to the Tiger fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Tiger fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What do you call a Arkansas player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: Why don't Arkansas Razorbacks fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

One day in an elementary school in Fayetteville, AR, a teacher asks her class if the Arkansas Razorbacks are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The LSU Tigers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Tiger fan, my mom is a Tiger fan, I guess that makes me a Tiger fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Arkansas fan."

It was reported that Arkansas head football coach Houston Nutt will only be dressing twenty players for the LSU game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.