Q: Why do University of Louisiana at Lafayette fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

It's 06:27 and Louisiana-Lafayette STILL sucks!

Q: What's the difference between a Louisiana-Lafayette fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: How many Louisiana-Lafayette fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

A Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Did you hear about the University of Louisiana at Lafayette fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Louisiana at Lafayette campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call a Louisiana-Lafayette player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: How many University of Louisiana at Lafayette freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: Do you know why the University of Louisiana at Lafayette football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Louisiana at Lafayette weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

It was reported that Louisiana-Lafayette head football coach Ricky Bustle will only be dressing twenty players for the Louisiana-Monroe game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a Louisiana-Lafayette, a Louisiana-Monroe grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Louisiana-Monroe grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Warhawks!" and pushed the Ragin' Cajuns fan off the side of the mountain.

Q. What did the Louisiana-Lafayette graduate say to the Louisiana-Monroe graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: Why don't Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

One day in an elementary school in Lafayette, LA, a teacher asks her class if the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Warhawk fan, my mom is a Warhawk fan, I guess that makes me a Warhawk fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Louisiana-Lafayette fan."

My two favorite teams are Louisiana-Monroe and whoever plays Louisiana-Lafayette!

Two University of Louisiana at Lafayette fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Louisiana-Lafayette fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Louisiana-Lafayette fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Louisiana-Lafayette fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Louisiana-Lafayette fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Louisiana-Lafayette win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

One foggy night, a Louisiana-Monroe fan and a Louisiana-Lafayette fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Monroe. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Louisiana-Lafayette fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Warhawk fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Louisiana-Lafayette fan walks over to the Warhawk fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Warhawk fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Warhawk fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Ragin' Cajun fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Ragin' Cajun fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Ragin' Cajun fan hands it back to the Warhawk fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Warhawk fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajun fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What do Louisiana-Lafayette and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Did you hear about the Ragin' Cajun fan who was so upset that the Warhawks beat Louisiana-Lafayette that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Lafayette News Report: Football practice in Lafayette was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Ricky Bustle, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: How do you make University of Louisiana at Lafayette cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What should you do if you find three University of Louisiana at Lafayette fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Louisiana at Lafayette's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Louisiana at Lafayette campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Ragin' Cajuns cheerleaders back on board.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Louisiana-Lafayette joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Louisiana-Lafayette grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Louisiana-Lafayette grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Louisiana-Lafayette grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Louisiana at Lafayette campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Lafayette?

A: Monroe: 187 Miles

Q: What does the average University of Louisiana at Lafayette student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Louisiana at Lafayette fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How do you get a University of Louisiana at Lafayette grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.