Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Morgantown?

A: Huntington: 187 Miles

One day in an elementary school in Morgantown, WV, a teacher asks her class if the West Virginia Mountaineers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Marshall Thundering Herd "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Thundering Herd fan, my mom is a Thundering Herd fan, I guess that makes me a Thundering Herd fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a West Virginia fan."

Two West Virginia University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first West Virginia fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second West Virginia fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first West Virginia fan asks, "Why not?"

The second West Virginia fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the West Virginia University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Mountaineers cheerleaders back on board.

Did you hear about the Mountaineer fan who was so upset that the Thundering Herd beat West Virginia that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have West Virginia win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Morgantown News Report: Football practice in Morgantown was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Rich Rodriguez, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at West Virginia University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: What do West Virginia and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What's the difference between a West Virginia fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

It's 07:46 and West Virginia STILL sucks!

Q: Do you know why the West Virginia University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the West Virginia University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What does the average West Virginia University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: How do you get a West Virginia University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What did the West Virginia graduate say to the Marshall graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a West Virginia Mountaineer fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

A West Virginia Mountaineers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the West Virginia Mountaineers?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: How many West Virginia University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What should you do if you find three West Virginia University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: How do you make West Virginia University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good West Virginia joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a West Virginia grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a West Virginia grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a West Virginia grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

One foggy night, a Marshall fan and a West Virginia fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Huntington. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The West Virginia fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Thundering Herd fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The West Virginia fan walks over to the Thundering Herd fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Thundering Herd fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Thundering Herd fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Mountaineer fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Mountaineer fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Mountaineer fan hands it back to the Thundering Herd fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Thundering Herd fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

My two favorite teams are Marshall and whoever plays West Virginia!

Q: Why don't West Virginia Mountaineers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

It was reported that West Virginia head football coach Rich Rodriguez will only be dressing twenty players for the Marshall game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a West Virginia, a Marshall grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Marshall grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Thundering Herd!" and pushed the Mountaineers fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: How many West Virginia fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: Why do West Virginia University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the West Virginia University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call a West Virginia player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: Did you hear about the fire in West Virginia University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What do you get when you cross a West Virginia University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: Did you hear about the West Virginia University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the West Virginia University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.