Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Ohio State Buckeyes?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Ohio State University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Buckeyes cheerleaders back on board.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Ohio State joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Ohio State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Ohio State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Ohio State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an Ohio State Buckeye fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Ohio State University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Ohio State University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

My two favorite teams are Michigan and whoever plays Ohio State!

Q: Why do Ohio State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Did you hear about the Buckeye fan who was so upset that the Wolverines beat Ohio State that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

Columbus News Report: Football practice in Columbus was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Jim Tressel, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Ohio State University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Why don't Ohio State Buckeyes fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

One day in an elementary school in Columbus, OH, a teacher asks her class if the Ohio State Buckeyes are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Michigan Wolverines "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Wolverine fan, my mom is a Wolverine fan, I guess that makes me a Wolverine fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Ohio State fan."

Q: How do you get an Ohio State University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State, a Michigan grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Buckeyes fan off the side of the mountain.

It was reported that Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel will only be dressing twenty players for the Michigan game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: How do you make Ohio State University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: How many Ohio State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q. What did the Ohio State graduate say to the Michigan graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

It's 07:47 and Ohio State STILL sucks!

Q: Did you hear about the Ohio State University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What should you do if you find three Ohio State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Ohio State fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Do you know why the Ohio State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: How many Ohio State fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

An Ohio State Buckeyes fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Ohio State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What do you call a Ohio State player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?

A: Ann Arbor: 187 Miles

Two Ohio State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Ohio State fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Ohio State fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Ohio State fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Ohio State fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Ohio State win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

One foggy night, a Michigan fan and an Ohio State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Ohio State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Wolverine fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Ohio State fan walks over to the Wolverine fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Wolverine fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Wolverine fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Buckeye fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Buckeye fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Buckeye fan hands it back to the Wolverine fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Wolverine fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What do Ohio State and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!