Q: How many ECU fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

It was reported that ECU head football coach Kurt Nichols will only be dressing twenty players for the NC State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: How do you get an East Carolina University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why don't ECU Pirates fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an ECU Pirates fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Greenville?

A: Raleigh: 187 Miles

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the ECU Pirates?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Two East Carolina University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first ECU fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second ECU fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first ECU fan asks, "Why not?"

The second ECU fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the East Carolina University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Pirates cheerleaders back on board.

Greenville News Report: Football practice in Greenville was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Kurt Nichols, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

It's 06:26 and ECU STILL sucks!

Q: How many East Carolina University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the East Carolina University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Why do East Carolina University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an ECU, an NC State grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the NC State grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Wolfpack!" and pushed the Pirates fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: Do you know why the East Carolina University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good ECU joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an ECU grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an ECU grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an ECU grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Q: What do you call a ECU player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at East Carolina University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Did you hear about the Pirates fan who was so upset that the Wolfpack beat ECU that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

One day in an elementary school in Greenville, NC, a teacher asks her class if the ECU Pirates are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The NC State Wolfpack "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Wolfpack fan, my mom is a Wolfpack fan, I guess that makes me a Wolfpack fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an ECU fan."

Q: How do you make East Carolina University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

An ECU Pirates fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What do you get when you cross an East Carolina University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: What should you do if you find three East Carolina University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: Did you hear about the East Carolina University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in East Carolina University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the East Carolina University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the East Carolina University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: What does the average East Carolina University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What's the difference between an ECU fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What do ECU and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

My two favorite teams are NC State and whoever plays ECU!

Q. What did the ECU graduate say to the NC State graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

One foggy night, an NC State fan and an ECU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Raleigh. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The ECU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Wolfpack fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The ECU fan walks over to the Wolfpack fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Wolfpack fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Wolfpack fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Pirates fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Pirates fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Pirates fan hands it back to the Wolfpack fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Wolfpack fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have ECU win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."