Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the United States Military Academy library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: How do you get an United States Military Academy grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in United States Military Academy's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the United States Military Academy campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What does the average United States Military Academy student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you cross an United States Military Academy fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Army, a Navy grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Navy grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Midshipmen!" and pushed the Black Knights fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: What should you do if you find three United States Military Academy fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Army fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

An Army Black Knights fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the United States Military Academy campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Army Black Knights?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: Did you hear about the United States Military Academy fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in West Point?

A: Annapolis: 187 Miles

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the United States Military Academy campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Black Knights cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Why don't Army Black Knights fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Two United States Military Academy fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Army fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Army fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Army fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Army fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an Army Black Knight fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: How many Army fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

One day in an elementary school in West Point, NY, a teacher asks her class if the Army Black Knights are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Navy Midshipmen "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Midshipmen fan, my mom is a Midshipmen fan, I guess that makes me a Midshipmen fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Army fan."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Army win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: How many United States Military Academy freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: Why do United States Military Academy fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at United States Military Academy weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

It was reported that Army head football coach Bobby Ross will only be dressing twenty players for the Navy game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q. What did the Army graduate say to the Navy graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: What do Army and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

It's 12:13 and Army STILL sucks!

Q: Do you know why the United States Military Academy football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Did you hear about the Black Knight fan who was so upset that the Midshipmen beat Army that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Army joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Army grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Army grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Army grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

West Point News Report: Football practice in West Point was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Bobby Ross, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: How do you make United States Military Academy cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What do you call a Army player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

My two favorite teams are Navy and whoever plays Army!

One foggy night, a Navy fan and an Army fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Annapolis. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Army fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Midshipmen fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Army fan walks over to the Midshipmen fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Midshipmen fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Midshipmen fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Black Knight fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Black Knight fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Black Knight fan hands it back to the Midshipmen fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Midshipmen fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."