Q: Did you hear about the fire in Louisiana State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What should you do if you find three Louisiana State University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

It was reported that LSU head football coach Les Miles will only be dressing twenty players for the Ole Miss game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

One day in an elementary school in Baton Rouge, LA, a teacher asks her class if the LSU Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Ole Miss Rebels "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Rebel fan, my mom is a Rebel fan, I guess that makes me a Rebel fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a LSU fan."

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good LSU joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a LSU grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a LSU grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a LSU grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

My two favorite teams are Ole Miss and whoever plays LSU!

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Louisiana State University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: What does the average Louisiana State University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: How many Louisiana State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: How many LSU fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: Why don't LSU Tigers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Louisiana State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why do Louisiana State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Did you hear about the Tiger fan who was so upset that the Rebels beat LSU that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have LSU win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: What do LSU and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

It's 08:01 and LSU STILL sucks!

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Louisiana State University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the Louisiana State University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Do you know why the Louisiana State University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q. What did the LSU graduate say to the Ole Miss graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Louisiana State University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: How do you get a Louisiana State University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Louisiana State University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: What do you call a LSU player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

One foggy night, an Ole Miss fan and a LSU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Oxford. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The LSU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Rebel fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The LSU fan walks over to the Rebel fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Rebel fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Rebel fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Tiger fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Tiger fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Tiger fan hands it back to the Rebel fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Rebel fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Baton Rouge News Report: Football practice in Baton Rouge was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Les Miles, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: How do you make Louisiana State University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a LSU Tiger fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What's the difference between a LSU fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Louisiana State University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Tigers cheerleaders back on board.

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a LSU, an Ole Miss grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Ole Miss grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Rebels!" and pushed the Tigers fan off the side of the mountain.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the LSU Tigers?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Two Louisiana State University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first LSU fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second LSU fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first LSU fan asks, "Why not?"

The second LSU fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

A LSU Tigers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Baton Rouge?

A: Oxford: 187 Miles