Q: What do Indiana and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: How do you make Indiana University cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What do you call a Indiana player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Indiana, a Purdue grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Purdue grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Boilermakers!" and pushed the Hoosiers fan off the side of the mountain.

One foggy night, a Purdue fan and an Indiana fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near West Lafayette. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Indiana fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Boilermaker fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Indiana fan walks over to the Boilermaker fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Boilermaker fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Boilermaker fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Hoosier fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Hoosier fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Hoosier fan hands it back to the Boilermaker fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Boilermaker fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Indiana University campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Hoosiers cheerleaders back on board.

Q: Why do Indiana University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How many Indiana University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What's the difference between an Indiana fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What does the average Indiana University student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

It's 12:10 and Indiana STILL sucks!

Q. What did the Indiana graduate say to the Purdue graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: What's the hardest thing about being an Indiana Hoosier fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the Indiana University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Indiana Hoosiers?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Two Indiana University fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first Indiana fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second Indiana fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first Indiana fan asks, "Why not?"

The second Indiana fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Bloomington?

A: West Lafayette: 187 Miles

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Indiana University library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Why don't Indiana Hoosiers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Did you hear about the Indiana University fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

It was reported that Indiana head football coach Terry Hoeppner will only be dressing twenty players for the Purdue game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Indiana win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: What do you get when you cross an Indiana University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How do you get an Indiana University grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Do you know why the Indiana University football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Indiana joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Indiana grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Indiana grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Indiana grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

One day in an elementary school in Bloomington, IN, a teacher asks her class if the Indiana Hoosiers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Purdue Boilermakers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Boilermaker fan, my mom is a Boilermaker fan, I guess that makes me a Boilermaker fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Indiana fan."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Indiana University campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: What should you do if you find three Indiana University fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Indiana University weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Did you hear about the Hoosier fan who was so upset that the Boilermakers beat Indiana that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

My two favorite teams are Purdue and whoever plays Indiana!

Q: Did you hear about the fire in Indiana University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: How many Indiana fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

An Indiana Hoosiers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Bloomington News Report: Football practice in Bloomington was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Terry Hoeppner, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.