Q: How many UCF fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: How do you get a University of Central Florida grad off of your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

Did you hear about the Golden Knight fan who was so upset that the Bulls beat UCF that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?

My two favorite teams are South Florida and whoever plays UCF!

It was reported that UCF head football coach George O'Leary will only be dressing twenty players for the South Florida game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: Do you know why the University of Central Florida football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Central Florida fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Central Florida weddings?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Central Florida campus?

A: A visitor.

A UCF Golden Knights fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Did you hear about the University of Central Florida fan who locked his keys in his car?

A: He couldn't get his family out.

Two University of Central Florida fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do.

The first UCF fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that."

The second UCF fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it."

The first UCF fan asks, "Why not?"

The second UCF fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a UCF, a South Florida grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the South Florida grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Bulls!" and pushed the Golden Knights fan off the side of the mountain.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.

The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish."

The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."

The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."

"Well," the General responds, "then can you have UCF win a bowl game this year?"

The genie thinks for a moment, then says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: What do you call a UCF player with a championship ring?

A: A thief!

One foggy night, a South Florida fan and a UCF fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Tampa. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The UCF fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Bull fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The UCF fan walks over to the Bull fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Bull fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Bull fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Golden Knight fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Golden Knight fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Golden Knight fan hands it back to the Bull fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Bull fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the UCF Golden Knights?

A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What's the difference between a UCF fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?

A: On the University of Central Florida campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why don't UCF Golden Knights fans let their kids play in sand boxes?

A: Because cats keep covering them up.

One day in an elementary school in Orlando, FL, a teacher asks her class if the UCF Golden Knights are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The South Florida Bulls "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Bull fan, my mom is a Bull fan, I guess that makes me a Bull fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a UCF fan."

Q: What does the average University of Central Florida student get on his SAT?

A: Drool.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Central Florida's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being a UCF Golden Knight fan?

A: Telling your parents that you're gay.

Q: What do UCF and pot have in common?

A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: How do you make University of Central Florida cookies?

A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Central Florida library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Orlando News Report: Football practice in Orlando was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, George O'Leary, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Orlando?

A: Tampa: 187 Miles

Q: Why do University of Central Florida fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

It's 08:00 and UCF STILL sucks!

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Central Florida campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Golden Knights cheerleaders back on board.

Q: What should you do if you find three University of Central Florida fans buried up to their neck in cement?

A: Get more cement.

Q. What did the UCF graduate say to the South Florida graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: How many University of Central Florida freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good UCF joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a UCF grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a UCF grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a UCF grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."